Tuesday, 30 April 2013

ASOS Maxi Cat Dress & 10% Off

I can't take this no-money situation much longer, it feels like it's gone on forever! The £80 I'm supposed to survive on (!) every 4 weeks is going straight to my Mum (I pay her more than that each month usually, so I'm in debt to her) and I'm left with nothing each week...each month...it sucks BIG time! I'd been eyeing this Cat Face Maxi Dress on ASOS which was thankfully out of stock in bigger sizes meaning I didn't have to torment myself too much.
I'm a qualified stalker though (wish I got paid for that), so today they had an 18. Great....maybe. I had just enough money left in my account for it. So I've spent the last hour trying to justify it to myself, do I need it? Will it fit? Will I renew my Premier account which lapsed in December (well done me for not renewing before now) with it? Will it arrive when nobody is home, so I won't get 'caught'? Ah decisions, decisions! I'm pretty sure the cat will be distorted across my chest and there will be an unflattering fit on the hips/tummy area, but I ordered it anyway. Like I said, I can't take much more of this!
I'm going to The Big Reunion tour (5ive ahhhh!) in Glasgow next week (MAJOR for me to do all that travelling and actually go somewhere!), which was booked before the horrid money situation, so I'm thinking this dress would be perfect for wearing to that. If it fits. I'm actually having a panic about packing for an overnight and which shoes/clothes to wear. I want to be comfortable, not pack too much but still feel good. I'm struggling to come up with a pair of shoes that will go with multiple items and that I'll be able to walk in all day (any suggestions?). It's so long since I've done anything like this! Anyway, let's keep our fingers crossed the dress fits. It's still available here (no 4's, 6's, 14's or 16's just now but stalking can pay off) for £28 and I used MAYBDAY2013 for a sneaky 10% off too. Remember if you buy anything from ASOS using my links or any of the ads in the sidebar, I can earn a small commission and I'm determined to meet the required target so I actually get paid for the first time ever! Every little helps right now!
Oh and if I were made of money, this would be going straight into my basket. Moschino just do the best handbags and this Cheap & Chic 'Notes' bag has been on my wishlist for months. For a cool £380 I'm sad to say it will remain there!

25 comments :

  1. Ahh the cat dress is pretty!

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    1. I'm not big on cats, but love clothes with animals on them strangely!

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  2. And I will be ordering from Asos - will use your sidebar link x

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  3. Awww I know exactly how you feel.. being a stay at home mummy doesnt help my situation when it comes to purchasing things for myself. this is why most of my wardrobe is made up of Primark these days lol! Im very lucky in that I live off a small allowance from my partner & dont have to worry about bills/rent at the moment.
    Anyway, you sound just as addicted to shopping as me lol...and I can relate on the 'will it arrive when no one else is home' thing ... just my luck! my last purchase from H&M online arrived on a Saturday when my other half was home but I justified it with the 'stackable discount codes' talk ;-)
    Anyway, hope your dress fits, its lovely. Shame they dont have it in a 16 :( x

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    1. I'm not exactly wealthy normally, but at least I had something and ebay 'topped' me up until my next payment and helped me purchase treats. I just can't go anywhere or do anything with no money, not even basic things and I have family to buy birthday presents for and essentials like anyone else. I just hope it's resolved soon, because it's driving me nuts and I don't need any more stress, my life is crappy enough already!

      haha, I'm glad i'm not the only one! I've always tried to sneak purchases in, but now that my parents don't work, it's harder and harder to not get caught!

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  4. I have a feeling your money limits are government based? Me too....mine ends in June when they expect me to live on air! (Well, ok, they expect hubby to "keep" me as he works more than 24 hours a week, and to top it all off an appeal I lodged last August and I asked about in Nov and Feb has been "lost" so I get to start again! Sorry....I seem to have ranted there!) So I know your pain....I also know the "getting caught" bit too...heh!

    Shoes for concert have to be comfy....I used to do style but I've spent many a time either wishing the band would get on with it so I can sit down or hobbling home post concert....I even wandered London barefoot once....surprisingly clean actually!

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    1. Yes exactly that Sandy. They put me on ESA from Incapacity and although I knew their stupid rules meant that only lasts a year, they never informed me beforehand of when it was ending or what to go onto next. I got a letter in March to say it had already finished and that was it! I've phoned lots of different people and they all just pass me onto someone else. I was irate, explaining that it left me with no money but they're not interested, they just expect my parents to pay for everything (as if they don't do enough feeding me, cleaning, washing etc)! I filled in a form for the other version of ESA but still haven't heard back. I got a capability for work questionnaire sent which I 'think' was related to that, although the cover letter said I was either on Income Support or Incapacity and moving onto ESA, which is not true, that is what happened a year ago!! You'd think they'd have updated their letter. It's just been horrible to be left with my £20 DLA which is only paid every 4 weeks. It seems a lot of people are in the same boat though, the gov't just don't seem to want to accept that there are people with illnesses and disabilities that are incapable of work...the scammers that have cheated the system have ruined it for those genuinely in need. Plus as you know filling in those forms is just a nightmare, I dread it. I hope you eventually get a good result on your appeal anyway.

      Trying to wear the same pair of shoes for both days and the concert....not sure if I have something comfortable enough and who knows what the weather will be like! I've walked around London barefoot too! I stupidly took my shoes off on the flight down and couldn't get them back on. I had to wander along Oxford St to find a new pair with nothing on my feet. I did it again when I worked there in 2001 because it was raining and I had leather soles which were hopeless in tube stations and rather than slip, I thought I'd just take them off...sore when you encounter an escalator!

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    2. I only found out about the difference between the WRAG (Work related activity group) ESA and the Support Group by looking online! I was quite pleased to have been switched to ESA from Incapacity benefit with surprising ease but didn't realise I'd only get the WRAG ESA for one year. So what you need to try and do is get into the Support Group as that stays as contribution based and not income based.

      I rang my local jobcentre and as soon as I said ESA she was really gruff and gave me another number. But then I ring that one who then have to contact Newcastle...and then there's the appeals bit and the normal bit of Newcastle...it's ridiculous! They told me today that yes they've lost my appeal and they could ask various departments to look for it but as these other departments won't bother looking properly I may as well resend my claim!!! Amazingly incompetant!

      One thing I've seen from reading online is to NOT sign onto JSA as they will either see that as you being capable of work OR they will say you can't have both going at the same time.

      I'm sure I've also seen that us "benefit scroungers" on ESA are actually only 0.2% of the welfare budget.

      It's the dread of those brown envelopes isn't it?! LOL!

      There's a blog called diary of a benefit scrounger which is quite a good read.

      What are you hoping to happen with yours? Go into the Support Group? Good luck with yours too!

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    3. Thanks for replying. It was the same with me, so easy to move from incapacity to ESA despite the fuss they made about the transition, that's why it's shocked me that they would be as cold as to stop this with no warning when it seemed like I was getting warning letters every week about the transition before. It seems like they just want you to not bother applying for anything else. The last time I'd heard from them was some crap in November which had nothing to do with my ESA coming to an end and I've only met with the person at the Job Centre once. I did get a phonecall in december to say our meeting had been cancelled because she was ill, but I didn't even know we had a meeting and she never rearranged another one. Now she's on maternity leave, so I've been having to phone randoms and they don't seem to know much about ESA, she kept giving me examples of JSA instead!

      I used to get high rate mobility dla and now get nothing for that part, so that was a shock to the system when that happened, but to have this taken away too is a nightmare. It sickens me when I read the letters about how the new benefits are to give us extra help in living an independent life and all that crap! I have no independence, I rely on my Mum to do pretty much everything for me and there's no way i could live alone and keep a house clean and do washing and buy food etc, I'm just not capable of that. When I went to the Job Centre interview she said I should be on high-rate mobility because she knew people more capable than me that were still on it, but I'd already written a letter of reconsideration and spoken to someone on the phone and it seemed apparent that unless you were in a coma you're not going to get high-rate (and low rate is more for supervision and mental health problems). It's the same with being able to work, unless you're a vegetable, you're all lumped together as capable of work. Although the Job centre woman was nice she then turned and gave me a grilling about how i should've come prepared (I had no idea what to expect for a start), but I wanted to say it's like planning your wedding before you've even got a boyfriend! Working is soooo far off for me and in the 11 years I've been ill, I've not seen much improvement or significant improvement that I can see myself recovering soon. Every so often I do something like go walking shopping rather than in the wheelchair (I mean I'm not talking about all day shopping, literally one or two shops) and then I'm completely knackered and in agony after that and it's a reminder I'm not capable of very much! I used to be so active and filling in those forms just makes me so depressed when I see what I'm not capable of. I wish I could work, so I didn't have to fill in the forms and go through the whole process, ugh it's completely demoralising. If push comes to shove and they force me into work, I'll just have to not get any benefits, it's not worth killing myself over and my body just isn't capable of it. It's such a worry. Anyway, I had to lol at the brown envelope thing, I dread them too, although I'm waiting at the door every day in the hope of something just now! x x x

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    4. I think they probably see you as "capable" because you won't let yourself be beaten by illness and still try to be as normal as possible, plus you're mentally bright so that makes you even more capable!! It amazes me the lack of knowledge at each department of the whole job centre/DWP. No one seems to know what the other is doing which is no help when you're explaining for the umpteenth time about your case.

      I've read someones comment (gosh, do I read a lot online about it all! LOL!) that their ESA ended (or was stopped, not sure) but because they didn't then rush to sign on to JSA they had their ESA reinstated a bit later. Someone else had a letter telling them to sign onto JSA (after losing ESA) but when they spoke to friend who works for the DWP they said to just hang on a bit and then the next day or so their ESA payment went into their bank!

      I've seen stories of paraplegic people being put in the WRAG group of ESA...like their ever going to be able to work! Which kind of disheartens me for my case as I'm still moving so I'm seen as "capable"!

      I recall there being a difference in how they word it....they say whether we're capable of work, not whether we're able to work.
      I really wish I could be free of it/them too. When I think of my money ending I kind of get euphoric that I could be free of them, although I'm told I still stay on ESA to get "credits" for pensions later etc...but then they could still try to call you in for interviews which I could turn down seeing as they can't "sanction" my money as I don't get any!! LOL!! But then I don't like not having money!

      Who said being on benefit is easy!?!??! LOLOLOL!!

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    5. Exactly! It worries me too, I saw something on the news about motor-neuron patients having to 'prove' how ill they are for benefits and this man had a year or so to live...when you see that it makes you think there's no chance for someone who can walk a short distance and wash/feed themselves. The woman at the job centre said there were categories within the group and I'd fall into the not likely/able to work in the next three years (I think it was 3), which was the least capable category within the group. That's why she took me by surprise when she said I should've thought more about possible jobs and come prepared. As much as I'd like to work again, I don't think wasting what little energy I have on looking for jobs/updating my CV and whatever else she assumed I would do, with the intention of not even working for the next few years is a good use of my time! Did she really expect me to set up interviews and say 'by the way I don't know if/when I'll be able to work for you, but please give me an interview so I can let you know how incapable I am'! Oh it drives me nuts!

      Yeah I saw that crap about credits for pensions in my last letter from them. So they are happy to stop paying me NOW but will give me credits for a pension?!! I'll be dead by then because my parents are threatening to stop feeding me to teach the gov't a lesson about how I can't live on air!

      I might phone them today and see if anyone can shed any light on what's happening (looks unlikely)! I still can't believe they could be so incompetent as to lose your appeal. The whole place is a shambles x x x

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    6. Sandy I phoned and I'm fuming, my blood is actually boiling! They have no record of receiving my first form back. He said they got the capability for work one and that got a 'successful' result yesterday and I'm in the work related group and my next assessment will be in two years. I can't and won't receive any payments though until I fill out another of the first form and send that back. He's sending out another one today. I can't understand how they've not picked up on that, the whole system is a shambles!

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  5. Oooh the dress is lovely, hope it fits!

    Sorry to hear of your money woes, hope you manage to find a solution soon! xx

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    1. Oh I hope it fits too, think I've been piling on the pounds lately though so maybe not!

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  6. Oooh, I'll definitely try to remember to click on your sidebar when I order from asos! I didn't realise you had one! It's like my orchestra has an amazon bar on our website and I NEVER remember to go to there through my orchestra! That said though- I am not buying anything from the Amazon taxdodgers now, certainly not until they've started paying the squillions of tax they owe!

    It's horrible the way you are treated (I read the comments above) because there are people who cheat the system!
    I hope the dress is lovely and you enjoy the concert!x

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    1. Thank you Kezzie. I'm like that with Boots Treat Street, just can't get into the way of remembering to use it on the online places that do it.

      Yes it seems the gov't feel they have to be seen to be taking a stand against those that cheat the system but for those genuinely terminally ill or ill or disabled, 'fighting' to prove you really are in need is the last thing you want to do. It's a constant strain that not's needed on top of everything else and you get the feeling that they just want to brush it under the rug that anyone is really ill or disabled, they seem to think a year of ESA will 'cure' you! Why anyone would want to go to the trouble of cheating is beyond me, there are certainly easier ways of earning money!

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  7. If you're really that financially stretched, stop buy clothes/shoes/makeup. Shop from what you already have. You've got so many dresses/shoes/lipsticks/whatever else that you just don't need another frock. If you're resorting to sneaking packages into the house, you obviously know it too.

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    1. I have already stopped buying those things and indeed anything else. My spending habits have changed quite a lot in the past year and have ceased completely since March when my income changed. I've always lived within my means. I'm living each day with no money at all, but I'm not in debt to the bank nor do I have loans or credit cards to pay for, so spending the last £25 I had on a dress was a decision as a 33 year old I think I'm entitled to make. Nobody should be expected to live with absolutely no money or to never buy anything ever again, that's simply not realistic or 'living' which is what has been happening since March! My life or lack of life is something I face every day regardless of income, so shopping is one of the few hobbies I can still do and still enjoy. It's always been my 'thing', some people may spend money on cars or holidays or drinking or clubbing, with me it's clothes, makeup and shoes and always has been. It keeps me going and I won't apologise for that. I understand where you're coming from, but I also think it's important not to make assumptions about someone you don't know just from picking up bits and pieces that you've seen online. I choose not to share with my readers how much pain I'm in each day, how I can't chase my nephews around in the park, how utterly exhausted I am all the time or my worries about never meeting anyone or having children. My blog is not about that, it's about fashion and beauty which is a part of me but not all of me. I hope you understand x

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    2. It irks me slightly that the general public (because of what they're fed by the media/Government) tend to think that because we're on a benefit that we should only exist and that we're not allowed to "live". If meagre finances allow then shouldn't we be "allowed" to buy as we like the same as any other person?

      I always say about sneaking in things as a joke....I even joke with hubby about it because he knows...so there's no sneaking really!!

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    3. Me too, my parents know I sneak, my Mum does the same thing as does my sister who earns plenty of money so shouldn't feel guilty about spending some of it, plus we're all adults so it's up to us what we spend it on.

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    4. I'm not saying don't shop as you please, but if you're openly saying you're not getting enough money to live on, surely *another* dress should be far from your no.1 priority? If you're in debt to your mum, dresses won't solve that! Shop your stash.

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    5. I do understand what you're saying, but a 1p sweet would be outwith my means right now! It's just impossible not to spend ANY money, whether it's on 'luxuries' or 'necessities' in such a long time. Once my payment comes through it's backdated though, so any money I'm due my Mum, I'll be able to pay : ) This dress spent the only 'real' money I had left and my Mum didn't want me giving it to her. I'm preparing for ebaying this weekend to make a little money too, but of course that costs money to list and to pay postage costs before money can be transferred from paypal hence why I haven't been able to do this so far.

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  8. Hope you're okay hon. I think those comments above were a bit uncalled for to be honest. Reading various snippets from your blog, I see that you went to uni (perhaps even worked to earn your own money?) so if you're like me you probably earnt more money in the past thus meaning more of a disposable income. I myself have found it very hard living on significantly less of an income since making the decision of being a stay at home mum but you adjust. My girls never go without but i just cannot refrain from spending money on makeup and clothes...its part of who i am, part of my identity (im sure you'll agree) ...and like you say, we dont spend money on holidays, smoking, drinking or going out in the evening. Everyone deserves some enjoyment in life & shopping is ours. Also youre in a position where you dont have any little dependants so its not as if you should be spending money on them instead... you carry on girl :) xx

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    1. Thank you. Exactly that! I've always made do with whatever money I've had coming in and adjusted my lifestyle accordingly. My current situation was not the norm, surviving on only £20 (and not disposable, for EVERYthing) was thankfully only short term until things got sorted out and was completely unrealistic to expect anyone to survive on that. It was one dress in the midst of 2 months of not spending, so I hardly think it's the end of the world.

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