So things have been quieter than usual on my social media and blogs lately and that's because I've suffered another downturn with my health. The hard thing about writing about M.E. is the fact I have M.E.! Yeah it kinda gets in the way of me being able to lead a consistent blog life. I've typed and re-typed this post dozens of times during this period, because I know I can waffle (!) and more so than usual my concentration is limited and words and sentence structure get really jumbled in my head and I don't want you reading rubbish, no matter how much of an accurate account that might be of the current situation! So I'm starting from scratch and re-writing this post one final time and leaving out a lot of chatter, so I actually get it finished this time.
I've been plodding along as normal (well normal for me) until one day at the beginning of June when I had an appointment at home. I'd felt fine that morning, but after the home visit ended, I was way more shattered than I'd usually be. I slept where I was sitting. I haven't taken daytime naps for years (haven't needed to). Well I haven't picked up since. I am
fighting the tiredness, battling to keep my eyes open on a daily basis (several times a day), struggling to sit up and finding even talking difficult. Sometimes I give in and sleep, other times I doze, not wanting to properly sleep in case I don't sleep at night (I always do though). The exhaustion is simply overwhelming and relentless, it just won't go away. I have zero energy, no strength to get up and do the limited amount of things I used to do myself. I wasn't getting outdoors or having any sort of social life anyway, but now I'm finding it difficult to get up the stairs at night and choosing between going to the kitchen to take my medication or the toilet, because I know I won't manage both. Showering was already a big deal for me, but I'm really, really struggling with that now. I've been ill long enough to know that this isn't normal for me and I don't have any plausible explanation for having done too much and therefore gone backwards from that.
